AA is a drinking club for cheaters, sex fiends and psychopaths one small crisis away from their next relapse, and the old people who teach them how to play the abstinence-bingeing game. Also included is a random mix of the impressionable and vulnerable who come in search of companionship but are brainwashed into excessive drinking by the cult of powerlessness, bullied for sex and money, and kept around to swell the ranks.
Tonight’s featured ‘alcoholic and addict’ at gay Hollywood AA was a handsome 40-something working actor. Incredibly he has been out for less than 10 years. Because of shame and guilt which he medicated with alcohol and other drugs, he played a straight man through his mid 30’s, while living a secret life at night hooking up with guys on drug fueled sexcapades.
He started drinking as a college student, the normal amount – no more or less than other guys. Of course, this is one of the first signs of the hapless alcoholic. It was all downhill from there. Continue reading Addiction Fiction→
At today’s gay Hollywood meeting, we heard from a youngish handsome mixed-race speaker. He grew up with an alcoholic father who would come home late at night, sometimes quietly, and sometimes very loudly. His parents would argue in the kitchen as dishes crashed in the background. Where were you? Who were you with? The screaming would continue until the wee hours of the morning. Continue reading Bill W Would be Proud→
Tonight’s featured speaker at our gay meeting in Hollywood was a middle-aged man (like me) who spoke about his battle with alcoholism and the importance of the program. His father was an alcoholic, and would use alcohol to create a buffer around himself, to protect himself from his rage-aholic wife. He would sit in his favorite chair, holding his drink up at chest level, watching his wife bemusedly as she yelled at him for various things (for being drunk all the time, not having enough money, neglecting the children, etc. etc). He would follow each of her rants with a drunken drawl: “OK and you can just go f–k yourself.” And then he would take another sip.
Lately I’ve been participating more in meetings (of course, declaring that I am not an alcoholic). I have not received any open criticism. It actually has been a good experience. I can totally relate to a lot of what other people are saying, and I just go with it. I keep my shares short and acknowledge both the similarities and differences with others.
Tonight I was invited to participate by reciting one of the many canonical passages from the Big Book. Continue reading Yawny Time→
As you know from reading this blog, there are two types of addicts: the brainwashed and the liars. At today’s meeting in Hollywood we were privileged to hear from both.
Our featured speaker was a lovely woman who started drinking as a young lady after getting a job as a waitress at a bar. Even though she was a shy and delicate girl, there was something about being at the bar that made her comfortable. She felt at home with the alcoholics, whose ranks she soon joined. She spent the next 10 years blackout drinking. Continue reading Hollywood Special→
