Selected Mantras of Radical Bombisism

“We must kill them or they will kill each other!”

“ISIS is selling themselves into international sex trafficking rings according to FBI sources, based on the testimony of developmentally delayed but otherwise perfectly credible alleged victims in the Minnetonka Somalian community who seen it happen. That’s why we gotta bomb the hell out of ’em!”

“ISIS is recruiting our most talented Hollywood video editors and using them to create propaganda extolling the glories of heaven and uploading them to the youtubes and it is radicalizing our own children to jihad against us. That’s why we gotta drone them before they get here, or at least before they can get to an internet cafe!”

“ISIS is laughing at us and they are chopping off heads and drowning people in cages and Obozo is playing golf and laughing it up with Loretta. That’s why we gotta bring back torture, folks!”

“How do you defeat the temptation of the devil? By dropping bombs on it!”

“The problem is that Islam has a problem!”

“The West must continue to undermine any attempt at reformation in the Arab world because otherwise the Saudis will lose control of the extremists and they will attack us!”

“But their religion demands they kill people in the name of their religion!”

“The Saudis fund Madrassas that create ISIS jihadis by the tens of thousands and that’s why we must bomb ISIS where ever they pop up their ugly heads or the Saudis will only create more!”

“The FBI does not ‘radicalize’ people by trying to lure them into terrorist plots.  That’s crazy talk!  What radicalizes people?  Clicking a link on the internet, of course!”

“Come on, don’t you want to knock the hell out of ISIS like a Good American??”


6 thoughts on “Selected Mantras of Radical Bombisism”

  1. In west Pakistania Born and raised On the bomb range where I spent most of my days Blowin up infidels, relaxin all cool Shootin U.S. troops outside of school When a couple of americans who were up to no good Started defiling islam in my neighborhood I set off one chem bomb and my mom got scared She said “You’re moving in with your 6 aunties in Tehran” I whistled for a plane And when it came near The license plate said “Boom” and there were severed heads in the mirror I thought to myself “Man, this plane is rare” Then I thought “Nah man, fulfill Sharia law” “Go bomb in Tehran” I pulled up to the cell about 9:11 or later I looked at the driver and said “Allah hu akbar, madh Allah, yarzuqna” I looked at my flag I’ve earned my title Time to sit on my nukes as the prince of ISIL

  2. 24 year old virgin here.

    I’m really desperate for sex. I’ve tried fapping with used tampons and condoms (when I’m lucky) because it’s the closest I can get to sex. I’ve licked them. Tasted them. Drank them. Eaten them. I tried fapping with used diapers that I find in McDonalds and from my neighbor (who has a 3 year old kid who is cute). I go through her trash. But because of the hormone pills she takes, she seems to never have periods (?). I do all of this in my bathtub while drunk.

    I wish I was a zoophile. That way, I could buy a dog and have sex with it and be happy forever. Or I wish I was a mortician and then I could just have sex with the corpses. When I was young I was really into Pokemon. I remember being attracted to certain Pokemon which resembled real-life animals.

    I am thinking of having sex with animals as a last resort. Like a horse or a dog. Except right now I can probably only afford a cat/kitten. I’m not even attracted to animals. I want to have sex with a human. 🙁 But I have no choice and I hope animals will be enough. 🙁

    So how is the sex with animals? If I bought a kitten and trained it to love sex, will it have sex with me willingly? If I bought one which is so young that its eyes are closed and I trained it to love sex, will it love sex with me? Fuck, I don’t even like bestiality. But I am so desperate…

    How does cat sex work? Does he/she just do it like normal sex? Is there any ejaculation? I’m guessing I can’t actually put my penis in a girl cat but what about my tongue? What about a boy cat?

    This seems to be my only recourse. 🙁 🙁 🙁

  3. It was a nice day in Beach City the crystal gems are all awake Steven sees Garnet and Amethyst he says Where is Pearl and They said we don’t know and then he said lets go search they all went to search and then garnet scared him by poking him they all laughed and they he was going to talk to amethyst but she was gone and then he told garnet where Is amethyst and she did not answer because she was gone and then he heard a yell WHY DID YOU CALL ME SALTY BIRD MOM STEVEN!!!! He Looked around he heard a cracking gem sound as there was dust and he saw Pearl But she was red and black and she had hyper realistic blood all over her it was so scary steven said Oh No This Must Be a Nightmare and then steven woke up it was all a dream he said Woo that was scary and then he went downstairs to see the crystal gems but they were all dead and then he heard a noise and it said IT WAS NOT A DREAM and pearl looked him dead in the eye she had black eyes that looked just like a void they were all black and it was scary and then steven pulled out his shield but pearl pulled out her sword/spear and it was black with the blood of the other gems and then went to kill steven she stuck the spear up her butt he moaned she said what and then steven said Ummmm…. and then they continued to fight and she chopped off his head but then he heard a whisper it was peridot and she took him and said I will fix you and she welded his head back together and turned his ukulele into a SMG That Shoots Spears like pearls he went to find pearl but then he got a call from Connie and he awnserd it but it was PEARL AND SHE SAID CONNIE WAS DEADDDDDDDD!!! and then everything was turning dark for steven he started crying but then he thought he could not give up and he got his ukelele smg and went up to a shadow that looked like pearl and he shot it but he killed his dad and then pearl apeard and laughed mwahahhahhahah and she was about to kill him and then garnet and amythest apperd and said APRIL FOOLS and they laughed and he killed no body except his dad….. and then pearl licked steven and then she said just kidding killed everyone and then stabbed steven in the butt so hard that he said waa In the butt then died the end…. just kidding the pearl went and killed everyone and it was really scary and then steven woke up and said oh it was just a dream. the end… not steven was really dead and he was in heaven the end… JUST KIDDING He had a good time and saw connie and they lived there forever the end…… Just kidding steven woke up and said beep bada bop bada bop bad beep waa… the end…. not steven woke up and he was buried alive….. the end… just kidding… he never woke up… the end

  4. DO IT, just DO IT! Don’t let your dreams be dreams. Yesterday, you said tomorrow. So just. DO IT! Make. your dreams. COME TRUE! Just… do it! Some people dream of success, while you’re gonna wake up and work HARD at it! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!You should get to the point where anyone else would quit, and you’re not gonna stop there. NO! What are you waiting for? … DO IT! Just… DO IT! Yes you can! Just do it! If you’re tired of starting over, stop. giving. up.

  5. Zog nit keyn mol, az du geyst dem letstn veg,
    Khotsh himlen blayene farshteln bloye teg.
    Kumen vet nokh undzer oysgebenkte sho,
    S’vet a poyk ton undzer trot: mir zaynen do!

    Fun grinem palmenland biz vaysn land fun shney,
    Mir kumen on mit undzer payn, mit undzer vey,
    Un vu gefaln s’iz a shprits fun undzer blut,
    Shprotsn vet dort undzer gvure, undzer mut!

    S’vet di morgnzun bagildn undz dem haynt,
    Un der nekhtn vet farshvindn mit dem faynt,
    Nor oyb farzamen vet di zun in der kayor –
    Vi a parol zol geyn dos lid fun dor tsu dor.

    Dos lid geshribn iz mit blut, un nit mit blay,
    S’iz nit keyn lidl fun a faygl oyf der fray,
    Dos hot a folk tsvishn falndike vent
    Dos lid gezungen mit naganes in di hent.

    To zog nit keyn mol, az du geyst dem letstn veg,
    Khotsh himlen blayene farshteln bloye teg.
    Kumen vet nokh undzer oysgebenkte sho –
    S’vet a poyk ton undzer trot: mir zaynen do!

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