Don’t Say I Didn’t Warn You

After much research I’ve discovered that the 10 Commandments were completely wrong.  Here are the correct rules.  Please teach them to your children – or you’ll be sorry!

New rules for life

  1. Don’t get in a car with a Nazi, neo-Nazi, soup Nazi (or any Nazi) and then tell us to ‘do good deeds’ after you get killed.
  2. Always use the crosswalk, especially if you are pushing a shopping cart.
  3. Don’t name your kid ‘Stormy’ or ‘Darwin’ or kiss them on the lips or drag them into bed with you and then lecture us about ‘common sense’ after they go on a shooting spree.
  4. Don’t launch a witch hunt against autistic and homeschool kids and then act surprised when they turn your school into a prison.
  5. Don’t eagerly cede your gun rights to the government and then get all pouty when they shoot you in the back of the head.
  6. Don’t abandon your mother and run off to Israel and then hyperventilate about ‘antisemitism’ when she is killed by local kids she knew their whole life.
  7. Don’t subsidize dysfunction for decades and then blame the recipients for ‘not Marxing hard enough’ as you shoot them.
  8. Don’t bash libertarians and then blame them when your society is reduced to cannibalism.
  9. Don’t identify as a supremacist and then destroy your own apotheosis.
  10. Don’t expel us from the Garden of Eden and say “I was just following G_d’s orders”.

Yes you can ignore these rules – but when your life devolves into chaos, don’t say I didn’t warn you!

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